My insides are blue
I tried different ways
but it's all the same
I just have my self to blame...
Never insecure till I met you
Now I'm in stupid
Maybe get rid of you
And I will get back to me.....
Yeah that's right,,those lyrics represent my feeling about the diet that I have been thru for these past few years. I did try very hard just to make you happy ( included doing the hardest diet n_n) but still didn't make you satisfy. Well, Seniseviyorun that's the only reason why I kept doing it(till now). Now it seems that you never feel the way I do.
I think now it is the time for me just to think about myself, no more you since you don't care bout how I feel, you ignore me, you disrespect me!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate you then I love you. I love then I hate you ,, now I love you more.You, yourself and your behavior make me confuse. I just want you to make all clear for me,, you know i don't want to be so GR thinking that you love me, thinking that you are still mine.
You never love me just the way I am, Just the way I do. You never like my blubber and shape( ha ha ha ha...lame). That's the fact, that's the truth. I have to face it. It's killing me,arggghhhhhhhhhhhhh... I want to smack you on face, to make bruises all over your body so you will know How hurt I was noticing that you never notice me.
I have made my decision, I never go on a diet anymore. I am what I am. Take me as I am or watch me go(ha ha ha such a drama queen).Honestly, It is fucking damn hard for me not to love you, to hate you, not to think about you but I have to. So I always make up my mind every time I think of you by saying to myself that there is no you, you never love me, you are just a nightmare.
In the end, I have to kill this feeling before it kills me.
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